The Comedy Odyssey - Part 3 ("Post-Comedic Stress Disorder")

So my second attempt at stand-up hadn't been fantastic, but it hadn't been disastrous either, at least. But I knew I needed to get right back on the horse. Or the bike. Or whatever the right metaphor is. Vlado, too, wanted to get back up onstage and keep hitting it so we didn't get rusty, so we decided we needed to hit the next Tuesday night's open mic at Tommy T's--me, just to practice (you can't win again if you've already won, but a lot of comedians, as I said earlier, show up just to work their stuff in front of a crowd), and Vlado to see if he could get a win and get in the February competition as well.

I was going back to my original 5 minute routine, with just a couple of minor tweaks. Vlado had reworked his routine, adding in some new stuff and adjusting old. Both of us did our practicing at our respective homes (having learned my lesson about not rehearsing, I was taking no chances this time).

Tuesday came, and Vlado said he and Babydoll planned to have dinner at Spaghetti Factory and invited me to join them, so I did. Per Vlado, loading up on carbs before comedy can only be a good thing. It took a bit longer than we thought, but Tommy T's is right upstairs from the S.F., so we headed up with a few minutes to spare. The place was mildly filled, even a bit on the quiet side. But as we soon found out, it was going to be a long night - there were twenty comedians signed up for that night! Damn! Vlado had gone upstairs before we started dinner and put us on the list, and we decided that going in spots #'s 8 and 9 would be good for us (let the crowd get good and warmed up first...as I'd learned a few days before, going first sucks!), and this time, Vlado would be the one going before me (just to mix things up a little).

As the comedy began, the place slowly started filling up more. Pretty soon it was a pretty packed house. But the best part of the crowd, Vlado and I both noticed, was a couple of guys sitting a couple tables down from us. These were big guys...and the kind of guys who just seem to laugh at everything. And better yet, they had that kind of infectious laugh that gets other people around them going. We were both pretty stoked by this, as these guys promised to make things a lot easier for us.

We started to notice that while our time was supposed to be coming up, people seemed to be getting up ahead of us...people whose names were not on the list. Turns out there were some drop-ins...local comedians who popped in and wanted to do a few minutes. The vets get vet treatment. So we waited, and waited...

Soon we got told that we were coming up. Whew! Vlado wheeled me over to the stage door area, where we had a seat. The plan was that he'd get up and do his thing, come back down while Ellis was doing his interstitial bit, take me backstage and get me up the stairs to wait my turn to go. We were both prepared, calm and ready.

Then things started going a wee bit wrong. Know those two guys I mentioned? Just as the latest comedian finished up and Ellis got back on stage, we looked over and noticed both those guys got up and left...along with their whole big table. That was very disappointing...we were counting on those guys. Then, right after that? ANOTHER table got up and left. There had been a lot of comedians up there, and as this was a week night, people weren't going to hang around too late. So as we watched, the place emptied more, and more, until...

Vlado's turn!

Vlado went up on stage and looked down on the crowd. He didn't count right then, obviously, but did do a count later after both of us sat back down. 19 PEOPLE. That's what was left of the crowd when our turn at the mic finally came.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yeah, not pretty. Playing to a very small crowd? NOT FUN. Vlado did his revised act. An act, of course, meant to play to a big crowd...or even a medium crowd...but not, like, a can-fit-them-all-into-one-minivan crowd. It was rough. The room was dead. DEAD, I say! You could smell their bodies decaying. Their next of kin requested charitable donations in lieu of flowers.

Vlado got done, came down to get me, and told me, "Just push on through. That's all you can do." What else CAN you do, right? He got me up the stairs and I waited, and oddly, after having seen what he had to go through, I got eerily calm and relaxed. I now had zero expectations of doing well, and that seemed to take all the pressure off. All I was up there to do, I figured, was just practice my set, get my timing back, experiment with my new plan of just holding the mic the whole time instead of messing with the stand, etc. The crowd being involved? Irrelevant.

So Ellis gave me my intro, which I actually enjoyed quite a bit: "Ladies and gentlemen, the funniest man on wheels...the Professor X of comedy...Mr. Michael...O'Connell!" So I rolled out with the DJ playing AC/DC's "Back in Black" as my intro music. Very cool. And, yes, I remained calm. Almost TOO calm, in fact. I felt like I was talking to a few friends over dinner. So I just did my bit, and those 19 people were nice enough to sit through it. I had my marks and my timing back. I even felt the improv groove again, and called out to Ellis, referencing something in one of his earlier jokes and tying it into mine. What I didn't know at the time was that after introducing me, he'd LEFT...he had to take off for a few minutes or something, and (as I would find out at the end of my set when some other guy came up instead of him) had someone else do his MC chores for a couple of comics. My improv bit didn't actually require a response from him, so it wasn't like I was left hanging or anything. But I did find it funny that one of the other comedians in the back tried to cover for him and did a deep "Yeah" in response to what I was saying. So, yeah...I was just happy to work my stuff. Why? Because Vlado had jumped on the grenade first, and I knew in advance what to expect. I'm trying to imagine what would have been going through my head NOT realizing how quiet things were going to be. I had a good time, all things considered.

After I was done, we headed back to where Babydoll waited at our table, and we 1) ordered drinks quickly and 2) made sure to stay for the entire rest of the show for the poor devils who still had to go on AFTER us. We wanted to make sure to give them some extra support. And they needed it, because even MORE people left. By the time the last three comedians of the night were up, there was maybe 6 or 7 people left. Ow. I felt really bad for one guy in particular, because it was his very first time doing an open mic. And he had THAT crowd to work with. It was almost complete silence for him, but the thing was, he actually had a really good set. And he had good delivery. He would have killed with that act if there was more than half-dozen people there. After he got down, I wanted to be able to tell him that, but he was sitting a ways away and ended up taking off before I could talk to him. I really hope that didn't sour him to the experience. Oh, and one guy I really liked? He was, like, the second-to-last comic. And he looked down and saw the crowd and made a comment about the small size...and the proceeded to just throw out his whole routine and just goof around with the crowd. And it was funny! That's a sign of a real comic, guys who don't need a routine to please a crowd.

My favorite part of the night, though, was when the winners were announced. No, sadly, not Vlado this time (we'll be back to try again), which would have REALLY made it my favorite part, but what happened was very cool. See, when Vlado and I first checked out the open mic at Tommy T's, the week before we went on, the first comedian that went on was...well...he was not good. I mean, he seemed like a really great guy, and seemed like a very funny guy, and had the confidence...but he just didn't seem to get the structure of comedy. He kind of...well, lacked any kind of punchlines. At all. It didn't go well for him that night. The following week, before Vlado and I went on, he came back and went on again. And both Vlado and I were pleasantly surprised to find he had a couple of punchlines in there. Excellent. And then came this open mic, and there he was again. And you know what? He got it! His routine was good! It was done the right way and everything! I was really happy for the guy. Unfortunately, he ended up taking off after his set, and didn't hang around 'til the end to find out that when they announced the two chosen winners...he was one of them! I'm so inspired by that guy! He tried it once, it didn't work, but he didn't let that turn him off to the experience. He learned from his mistakes, adjusted, tried again, and did so again he got it right. And it paid off! Now I may be competing against him next month. This guy's my new hero!

Okay, actually, my favorite part of the night ended up being after the show. Vlado, Babydoll and I headed outside after the show FINALLY ended (it went on forEVER) where Ellis and some of the other comics were hanging out and smoking. There's nothing in the world like hanging out and talking with comics. It's not like a normal conversation. Here, someone would bring up a subject, and then it was like everyone was just passing the punchline around the circle. Everyone's just doing bits on the fly. It was great being a part of that. Comics are awesome people. It was great getting to know some of them some more.

So, to summarize...WE didn't stink...the CROWD did. I swear! I had already had my tepid crowd experience the previous Wednesday, but now Vlado and I both got to experience the tiny crowd moment. This is something comics have to deal with, so we were both glad that we got to get that experience out of the way. It's kind of like learning to box. You're going to be afraid of getting punched in the face until you actually take that first punch. And we did. And we'll both be prepared for it next time. Neither of us have been booed or heckled yet, so we still have THAT experience to look forward to at some point, but so far we're doing okay, and both of us are hungry to get up there and face it again.

And we shall...so stay tuned here for details! More stories and a big comedy competition yet to come!