Radio Symmetry

Remember that scene in “Jerry Maguire” where he’s driving his rental car away from Jerry O’Connell’s house, just having managed to hang on to his one big client? Remember how he’s going through the radio dial, trying to find just the right song to fit the celebratory mood? He has a few misfires, then drops in on Tom Petty’s “Freefallin’” and sings along loudly (and badly) in his (short-lived) victory. We’ve all had that moment when you’re just trying to find the perfect song for the moment, to match your mood, to make you feel a certain way, to just be dead-on to be part of the soundtrack of your life in that particular scene you’re living.

I had just left my friend Tim’s place, having to cut out early from the poker game that was going on (early being around midnight) because I was on a deadline and had some work to do at home. I knew, taking off, that I was heading home to a good two to three hours of computer work before I could sleep, and was trying to get myself energized for it, and in the right mood for it, so I could stay awake through it all.

This was my first time going to Tim’s new place, and on the way there, I took all surface streets in what seemed like the most logical route. It felt like it took me forEVER. Guess I’d forgotten how far away Watt and Fair Oaks really was. I must have hit every last light on the way. On the way there it was early evening on a Saturday, so traffic was heavy, too. I wasn’t looking forward to that again on the way home, even though the hour was late this time. So, having to make a right turn to get out of his complex, I decided just to skip the U-turn and keep on going down Fair Oaks Blvd, and take it all the way to Winding Way. Fair Oaks, on that stretch, instead of being littered with endless strip malls and gas stations and Burger Kings like Watt, is a winding two-lane road that goes through more residential and often tree-lined areas. I thought it might be the longer route, but it at least sounded more pleasant, so I took it, with my mind running through all the things I’d have to do when I got back to my place.

I popped on the radio. I’ve been listening to a lot of NPR lately (where, apparently, you can actually find out what’s going on in the world, and not just what Britney and Paris are doing), but was in the mood for some music, and was hoping for just the right kind of music. I didn’t want to waste my thoughts and energy jumping all over the dial the whole ride home. I just wanted to end up on one station and not have to think about it. Though your chances of finding one station to fit your needs for a whole 15-20 minute drive are pretty slim.

Not even sure what station I landed on, I dropped in right at the beginning of “Goodbye to You” by Scandal. Wow. I don’t know if I’ve even heard that since high school. I’m sure I have, but I can’t recall when. Complete blast from the past. I always really dug that song. So immediately, I was hit with a warm wave of nostalgia, and found myself smiling. This little rock-n-nu-wavy tune had my head back in 80s. I felt like putting on a checkered shirt and my jean jacket and going to a midnight movie down at Arden Fair Mall. It was just the thing I was looking for, something upbeat to wake me and get me ready for a lot of time sitting in front of the computer in the dead of night. Ironic, it being upbeat, as it’s a song about breaking up. A lot of songs in the 80s were like that. I recall plenty of people merrily bouncing their heads and cluelessly singing along to Suzanne Vega’s “My Name is Luka”. Child abuse is peppy, isn’t it? But, at its heart, “Goodbye to You” is really a song about getting over it and moving on. It’s that perfect song to play at the end of a film, with your main character driving off into the sunset in an old convertible, wearing a big old grin and ready to face whatever’s coming next. Definitely a song made to order that night, and a lucky find.

As it ended, I was prepared to start scanning the dial, but instead, that rolled right into the Alarm’s “Rain in the Summertime”. Oh, yeah. Some will always chalk them up to no better than U2-wannabes, but these guys put out some good stuff. And this particular track was perfect for a quiet drive on a dark night with the street practically all my own, at once introspective and empowering, carrying me along on wings of memory and possibility. “And love is the faith that keeps on burning”. Another spot-on addition to my drive.

Hearing it head toward its ending was a little sad, because let’s face it…three in a row just isn’t going to happen. I was prepared to have my moment violated by Gloria Estefan or any random selection off the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack. But out of nowhere, the unexpected struck again. Alanis Morrissette doing “Hand in my Pocket”. Like the others, this was not a song that I’d ever given that much thought to, by a performer I owned no CDs from, and probably never will. But like the others, it was a perfect fit. Rounding out my ride was a smile-inducing ditty about the absurdities of life, and the duality we all live out each day in this crazy game called breathing.

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

It ended just as I was pulling into my complex (I’d made better time than I’d expected), and instead of worrying over how little time was left in my weekend and mentally putting web pages together in my head, I had been gifted with a little musical pocket of peace and gratitude. Three perfect songs from my ever-growing past had dropped in to keep me company and remind me that life is good, and that sometimes you have to just relax and enjoy the ride.

And what it all comes down to, my friends
Is that everything’s just fine, fine, fine.

As if I run fast enough
I can leave all the pain and sadness behind.

Guess it’s better to say

Goodbye to you.