Dear "Me" (Part 1)

Dear Mike:

Hey! It’s me! Well, actually…it’s YOU. This is YOU, writing to YOU…from the year 2008! I’m serious! I’m you! I just wanted to drop you a line and wish you a happy graduation, man. You made it! High school’s over! It’s 1986, and you’ve got your whole summer, and your whole life, ahead of you. And you seriously need to enjoy both, my man.

So you’re probably finally waking up after the big grad party. Very wise of you to not drink—because that’s what everyone was expecting a few of you to do. Plenty of time for drinking (and you will, this summer. Trust me). That was a good time, wasn’t it, just kicking back and staying up all night talking with the classmates? Good memories. You’re really not going to see most of those people much anymore. Some, you’ve just seen for the last time. So hold on to those conversations…and to the memories of those people. They were a great part of your old life. But that part’s over. It’s moving on time.

Oh, so why am I writing? Well, there’s the congrats. Plus, I just thought it’d be fun to let you know a few things that are coming in the future. I got to thinking how much some of the things today—and some of the things that have happened to me—would so blow my mind back in high school. So figured I’d blow your mind, just to see if I was right. 2008. Your brain can’t quite grasp it, can it? So far in the future! And you’re so OLD! How has the world changed? Do we have flying cars? Do you still have your hair?!

Bad news on the hair thing…

But let me jump back a moment to the classmates thing. I told you it’s time to move on, right? Scary thing, big changes, I know. You know all those people who are your friends now, who mean so much to you, who you think you’ll be spending all your time with for the rest of your days? Well…let’s just say, enjoy this summer. Don’t want to bum you out, but things change after high school. Enjoy all your buds in the next three months…but also keep an eye out. You’re going to make some new friends this summer. And THEY’RE actually the ones that will end up hanging out with the rest of your life (so far). It’s cool. They’re good folks. And ALL the old ones aren’t going away, don’t worry. Tim’s still around, obviously. And Rich Straub. Actually, you and Tim and Rich end up sharing a house together in 1995. Crazy, huh? That, by the way, is going to be a good time. Kanas is definitely still around. He did end up becoming a dentist. Has a great wife and a couple of great kids. Rich, too, has a great wife and a couple of great kids. Tim? You and he are still single and bitter. Okay, not really bitter. Still having a great time. You both had some romantic ups and downs along the way, but you’re both still waiting for the right lightning to strike. Did I mention you guys work at the same company? Hey, and you also end up creating a comic together. Seriously! You make absolutely zero money at it (so far), but you’ve got a web site (I know, you have no idea what one of those is) and one issue of a print comic, and you go and sign autographs and get fan mail and everything. It’s pretty cool.

Want some sad news? You know that high school you just left behind forever? You’re currently living around the corner from it. You pass it every day on the way to work. Don’t worry, you did actually leave town. You did some time in Phoenix, Arizona (you went all out when you got your first apartment…you went all the way out of state!), and you did about seven years in San Diego, which was AWESOME. But expensive. You’re back here for a while because it’s more affordable, and because you felt you’d spent too long away from family and friends and needed to be back around them again. Smart move. Got to keep up with the people in your life. They’re important.

You didn’t became a movie director (sorry), but you’re kind of a writer, and you’re trying to be more of one, so that’s cool. You actually ended up in the auto insurance business, doing claims. Who knew, right? It’s not that bad. Pretty good living. Lets you live alone and afford a pretty cool apartment, and it’s an okay career. You could have ended up much worse, believe me.

But, hey, enough about us. Let’s talk about the world! Yeah, it is TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT! What has become of the world?! Let me hit you with a few random samplings.

Cold War’s over. We won. I’m not kidding! The Russians just kind of gave up. And revolted. There’s no more Soviet Union. Communism did not take over the world. McDonald’s did, baby! Russia’s kind of our ally now. Don’t ask me how it all happened, and happened so fast. History works that way sometimes. So no big nuclear war happened (knock wood). Know what’s weird? I kind of miss the Soviets. They were pretty good bad guys. At least they were sane, unlike the current ones (a story for another time).

George Bush’s son is President (George Junior). Most of America hates him. That’s too long of a story to get into here. Oh, dig this…we’re coming up on this big election this year, and the nation’s in this big frenzy over who the nominees for each party will be, and some of the front runners include a woman (a former first lady), a black man (yes, we’ve come THAT far!), a minister, and a Mormon. You feel like Doc Brown right now, don’t you? Ronald Reagan?! The ACTOR?! Who’s Vice President? JERRY LEWIS?! It’s a really exciting time, I think. The days of presidential election blowouts are all over. The nation’s pretty divided. Our last couple of elections were so close there were, like, recounts. I think that’s cool because it means that it’s anyone’s game, that there’s a chance that anyone running can make it. I think that’s the way it should be. Speaking of Doc Brown moments? Arnie is Governor of California. Just kidding. No, actually, I’m not. He really is. On his second term, too. Thankfully we got a Terminator 2 before he went all political. He did Terminator 3 before then, too, but that one kind of sucked. Hey, and there’s a Terminator TV show, too, that just premiered last night. I haven’t watched it yet, so I don’t know if it sucks, too, yet.

Computers are EVERYWHERE. That Commodore 128 you have? It’ll get you through college, and a bit after, but you’re going to join the “PC” revolution like everyone else. Totally badass and powerful computers, man. Everyone has them. And you can’t believe the stuff they do. And they’re all hooked up to this thing called the “World-Wide Web”, or the “internet”. It’s a vast information (and entertainment…and porn) network that the whole world is on. Any info you want, it’s there. Screw libraries. Your PC is your library! Everyone communicates by “email”, these electronic letters you send back and forth instantly. Seriously, even Mom can do it. It’s EVERYWHERE. You use the internet to get all your news—politics, current events, entertainment, sports, ANYthing. You can check sports scores as the games are happening. Hey, want to know what movies John Cusack has done (his career goes great places, by the way. He’s no Tom Hanks, but still…)? You jump on IMBD (the Internet Movie Database) and type in his name, and BOOM…there’s the info. You, personally, use the internet for EVERYTHING. You use it to get airline reservations, do your banking, order groceries, watch movie trailers (“trailers” are “previews”…most people don’t start calling them trailers until the Batman movie comes out in ’89 and the term becomes popular. Did I just give you a heart attack with the idea of a Batman movie? It’s pretty sweet. Michael Keaton plays Batman. Don’t worry, he does a good job, I swear). I can’t even get into all the stuff you can do…there’s too much! There’s these huge videogames you can play “online” with thousands of other people, live, and they’re hugely popular. Videogames themselves get ridiculously popular. Movie are getting made based on the games. The old Atari 2600 is about to become historical, and new, AMAZING consoles are coming out. Everyone in your generation has one. Not just for kids anymore.

One of the bigger things to come out of the internet age is something called “MP3s”. These are “files” of songs, that you can “download” (save to your computer and play). These things totally took over the music industry. CDs are still around (so don’t worry…that CD player you just got for grad is still useful. You actually hang on to that stereo for a lot of years, so take care of it). Cassettes, pretty much gone. Records? Mostly gone, but they have their uses for DJs. No, not DJs like radio DJs. Another long story…. But these days, seems like everyone uses MP3s…and MP3 players. They’re these tiny electronic players that can hold THOUSANDS of songs. You can carry your whole music collection in your pocket. And you don’t have to go to the record store anymore. You just go somewhere online like “iTunes” (the biggest service) and pay a buck per song and just pluck them from the net and start listening in seconds. Well, the more honest people do. You really don’t have to pay for them. It’s easy to get them all for free. That’s kind of a big ethical debate of the past decade. But music is more alive than ever, and now any band around the world can put their songs up on a web page (it would take too long to get into web pages…you run a few of them yourself, actually) and let anyone check them out. Exciting time for music.

Hey, I know you want to know more, but time is short for me, and I’ve got to get to bed. Work in the morning. But I’ll get back to you soon. For now, just wanted to tease you with a few things, and wish you well on your big day. So this is your last summer before college…and it, and the next couple of years, are going to be a blast! You’re going to do a lot of stupid stuff, but have a great time doing it, so enjoy! I’d warn you off some things, but I’ll let you learn your own lessons. Just relax, enjoy, and get ready for some amazing stuff! I’ll be back at you soon.

From the future—

Michael

(You went through a phase and stopped using “Mike”. Don’t ask).

P.S. More Star Wars movies are coming! Bad news? They SUCK!! Sorry…