10 Random Things I Learned from George Lucus (in the past 10 years)

1) Black people are funny! Ha ha!

2) Japanese people are greedy and sneaky…but they always get theirs in the end!

3) Slavery really isn’t all that bad…as long as masters and slaves get along. What’s the big deal?

4) Lying to people, violating their free will, threatening and intimidating them…not evil, these things, if done by Jedi! Mmmm?

5) Jedi can sense thoughts, feelings, even the future! But apparently not really difficult things like a) that the girl in the make-up is NOT the queen, b) two of your best friends have been boinking for a couple of years, or c) you’re all going to die in the third movie at roughly the same time.

6) The mysterious medical ailment of “losing your will to live” is understandable if your psycho, whiny, child-killing traitor husband dumps you. I can see where not caring about leaving your newborn twins alone in the galaxy wouldn’t seem as important.

7) Oh, and that same guy slaughtering “sand people”—men, women, and children? Ah, that’s forgivable. We all make mistakes. Actually, it’s kind of a turn-on, apparently.

8) The true warrior knows that when you lose a fight to the bad guy, and the bad guy is now going to terrorize and enslave billions of people, the appropriate response is not forming a resistance or something like that – it’s to spend the rest of your life hiding in a swamp. Or the desert. Whichever works better for you. Let the people WITHOUT super-powers do something about it.

9) “I have a bad feeling about this” is the funniest %$^# thing you can possibly say! It NEVER gets old!

10) Same goes for burping and farting. Or anything doo-doo-related.