Hulk...uh...Hulk...Mike not sure WHAT Hulk does...

Just back from the seeing the Hulk.

Hmm.

Did Hulk suck? No. I was waiting for a giant sucking. It's running in the 60s on the Tomatometer (tm), and considering how I felt about Crystal Skull, and it was running in the high 70s? Let's just say I had my fears. So the film began, and I prepared for the sucking. I was surprised at the lack of it. This was suddenly a film with locations. And character development. And stuntmen. And moments of small revelations, not slam-you-over-the-head revelations. I found myself more than pleasantly surprised...I was really enjoying it, particularly how it took its time. That's such a rare thing in film, and definitely a big no-no in action films. But sure enough, they were easing me into the character and into the story, building the world and the situations, making me care about the lead character and connect with him. Wow. I started getting excited.

Did Hulk smash? Well...no. But let's make something very clear that I knew walking in - over 70 minutes of this film were cut out. The writer in me is just getting the shivers thinking about that. You cannot cut over an hour out of a story and have it be the same story. Assuming it's written correctly, all the different parts of the story contribute to the whole. They give layers to the plot, they develop the characters, they illustrate the themes. When you do this kind of surgery, what you're essentially doing is the cinema equivalent of the greatest literary atrocity of the past century - the "Reader's Digest Condensed Book". Aw, we don't need all that boring stuff in the middle! Let's just pick out the interestin' parts and slap those together so's you can read this sucker in half the time! Wow, I just got another shiver. That's creepy. So I knew that I was going to be seeing the condensed version of the originally envisioned film, so I was ready to forgive quite a bit with that in mind.

I didn't have to do a LOT of that, but I was aware of it. The problem was that the first half of the film was really great. To me, at least. It felt like a real movie, and that's really all I ask of my super-hero movies. But then came the CGI. Sigh. Yeah, I knew it was going to happen. We got it in chunks here and there in the first part of the film, and they spaced it out nicely, I think. But the whole final act of the film might as well have been an X-Box game. I was with a couple of friends who, after the film, were discussing the final fight itself, and how it was done pretty well. Well, true, it was. They're right. The problem for me, really, is that at that point, it stopped being a film. I have an emotional connection to actors. Turns out I really don't care that much about what happens to obviously CGI creatures. I know...what are your options, right? Get a bodybuilder and paint him up, like Lou, and have him bend rubber prop girders? To do something like the Hulk right, you do have to slip into the computer graphic realm. It's a built-in liability. You do the best you can. Could they have done better? Yeah. I think so. I saw all of the Lord of the Rings movies, and at least for the first two, I wasn't distracted or emotionally removed from the story because of the CGI use (a little too much of it in #3...just my opinion, Ringheads). Maybe that's because they had the luxury of operating in a completely mythical world. Whereas Hulk and company had to do the duking out in Harlem. I think the main difference is that in the LOTR films, the combo of film and CG fit together. Here, not so much. You get to watch the film, then the film goes away, more or less, and you get the Playstation cut-scene. That keeps the film from its completeness, which is too bad. Because it was off to a pretty good start.

All that being said, it's really going to be up to you how you feel about this movie. I can't tell you that I thought it sucked and warn you off. It was definitely better than the Ang Lee mess, and it was entertaining, and it did not offend. It didn't thrill either, at least didn't thrill me the way I'd hoped it might (I've been so spoiled by Iron Man). Did it disappoint? Well, yeah, to me, but not near as much as I was expecting, and I still feel that the whole will make much more sense when I'm able to see the final version on DVD. Regarding that drastic cut, by the way? I have to admit, it was probably for the best. Me, I like my films nice and long and full of character moments and meanderings. Most people going to see a Hulk movie in the middle of summer are NOT looking for that. So if it's a choice between satisfying me (the guy who actually owns the director's cut of Wyatt Earp? The guy who actually DIDN'T want Return of the King to end when everyone else started yelling "Enough already!" at the screen?) and alienating 90% of the audience, or making a cut that will keep folks happy and make sure the film makes some money and doesn't put a smear on the remarkably upward turn of the super-hero film genre, then I can wait for the extra scenes. Even I felt myself thinking, "Wow, this film is REALLY taking its time", so I can only imagine what fidgety summer movie fans who came to see HULK SMASH things were thinking, or would have thought if they'd been forced to sit through an extra hour of Bruce Banner feeling guilty and talking about his feelings and wandering the Earth (allegedly, this is what comprises much of the cut material). We'll see, once I get the two-disc DVD set I'm waiting for, if the cut really spoiled the film, or if it saved it. So far, seems like it was the right call. People seem to be having a great time with it, and if that means the highway stays plowed for the upcoming Thor, Captain America and Avengers films, then smash on, Hulk.

Quick actor notes - mostly quite good for Norton, William Hurt rocked, Tim Roth was awesome, big props to Tim Blake Nelson for his surprisingly show-stealing character, Liv Tyler could still use some acting lessons but didn't tank it too much, and give it up for the obligatory Stan Lee cameo! Can't have a Marvel film without The Man showing up.

Note to Edward Norton, who, I notice, had his writing credits removed from this film based on his displeasure with the cut: I'll drop you a line, pal, after the DVD comes out, and let you know if you've earned the "I told you so". I'll let you all know when that day comes. Keep it tuned here.

(Cue CBS Hulk piano music here - fade out).