All over the place on a Tuesday

I've been sleeping in more since the big job loss, as getting enough sleep, for a change, was one of my goals. I'm doing pretty good at it. I've finally reached the point (it's been a long time) where I CAN sleep in again - for a long time I'd lost the ability to do so, no matter how late I was up the night before. Now I can set my alarm and actually stay asleep until the alarm goes off. So...bonus.

But today I was up at a normal hour (7:00am) in preparation for my phone interview with E.D.D. to get my unemployment stuff going. They're so backed up that I applied (online, because you literally cannot get them on the phone anymore) the day after my release from corporate servitude, which was 2/20, and the soonest my phone interview was able to be scheduled (per the letter I got) was today, 3/10. Someone was supposed to be calling between 8:00am and 10:00am, so I was fully expecting a call at 9:59am, but to my surprise, the call actually came in about 8:20am. Cool.

Didn't care much for how the call went. I was never really clear what the point of it was - that is, what purpose it served - and the woman who phoned me was pretty annoying. First, she would ask me questions and then would constantly cut me off when I tried to answer, which made me feel like she never really got my full answers. And there was an accent barrier, so it was difficult for me to understand her, which doesn't help. And she was obviously in a big hurry to get on to the next call (with as many people applying for unemployment in Cali these days, can't really blame her for that), so the whole thing felt rushed. It ended abruptly, with her telling me they had to contact my employer next and would call me back in 7-10 days. I tried to get more info - I just sent my paperwork back to them that technically starts the first check, so does that mean a check will be coming, or a check won't get sent until after I get the call back in 7-10 days? She never really answered that. She gave a couple of quick answers that indicated she heard me ask a DIFFERENT question and then ended the call.

So with the "will I be able to pay the rent, the bills, etc" question still looming, I'm finding it hard to get my head in the right place and relax and get on with other stuff. My brain's everywhere. Too much to do, never sure where to start, always feeling - the moment I do reach for something - that I should be doing something else instead that's more important. It's like being back at work...only I'm doing it for free now.

Trying to feed my brain with writing info. I'm going back through two of my all-time favorite books on the topic - "Writing Unforgettable Characters" by Linda Seger and "Screenplay" by Syd Field. Those always jazz me. My buddy Kevin is also sending me his copy of "Story" by Robert McKee, which is supposed to be the shiznit when it comes to screenwriting. I found a bunch of other books on Amazon that will remain on my wishlist until I have money coming in again...and will then (unlike when I had disposable income and didn't give a rat's ass about spending) be bought one at a time and completed before I order the next one. I'm enjoying what this experience is doing to my ways of looking at and doing things. It's been a total paradigm shift on how I view money. In a good way.

Spending time on writer message boards as well, and finding good blogs and web pages on the "craft" as well. I really want to immerse myself in the learning here, to make sure what I'm producing is going in the right direction. I'm getting some writing done, mind you, but not as much as I plan to (again, I feel like that pending money thing is keeping me from full commitment somehow). And I've found that my creative mental muscles have really atrophied. More than I'd expected. Stephen King describes writing as the process of "teaching the mind to misbehave". We're not conditioned, as adults, to make up fanciful stories. We're supposed to work, work hard, be responsible, seek stature, be realistic. I didn't realize I'd been doing that for so long. I'm having trouble, which I never thought would happen, tapping back into that inner well of creative freedom and inspiration I used to revel in. I'm getting there, but it's not as easy as it once was, because my mind still feels like it's "misbehaving". As it should be - I just need to reteach my mind that this is exactly what it's supposed to be doing. My brain's still stuck in a cubicle.

I still haven't relaxed enough to be able to watch a whole movie at home, but I finally, Sunday night, was able to lay down on my couch for the first time since the big boot - instead of watching TV from the wheelchair, from the kitchen, while eating a meal, which is all I normally allow myself. I'd had some DVRed stuff stack up and didn't want to fall behind. I watched Dollhouse, Trust Me, and How I Met Your Mother. Even with scanning through commercials, I was on the couch for over two hours! Woo hoo! Not that I want to do that a lot, but it was a good step for me. Man, I've got to lighten up. What's the fun of being unemployed if you can't catch the occasional flick on DVD?

Okay, just took care of a few things at home, now I have to grab a shower and take care of some things out on the town (I'm waiting until after the lunch hour is over to avoid that traffic), then back to continue on some character profiles for the graphic novel. Here's to hoping the 7-10 day thing is just an overestimate, and I'll have a clear answer (and a check) soon. Looking forward to that sigh of relief.