The Smile That's Just For You

Every man knows how special that moment is when the right girl smiles at you. Not someone you know, but just a beautiful stranger, someone whose appearance into your world is a complete surprise. Suddenly, she's just there, and you generally notice her first, and if the stars are lining up just right, she notices you, too. And she smiles. Usually you never say a word, and you never see her again. But you find that you always remember that smile. It's something you cherish, and it warms you and gives you a little private smile every time you remember it. It's one of those quiet, perfect moments that creep into your life and remind you that each day holds the chance for little surprises that shouldn't mean so much to you, but do.

If the girl in question is famous, this can mean so much more.

It was Comic-Con, San Diego, the summer of 2003. We'd gotten word that there was a new Battlestar Galactica series coming out, and we were all pretty curious about what they were going to do with it. Was it going to be cheesy as the original, or were they going to take it seriously? Most of us know the answer to that now (serious? It's freaking heartbreaking!), but then, we didn't know a thing about this new show, or this new cast, but we had all heard the most shocking news of its reincarnation. Starbuck was a CHICK?

Didn't quite know what to make of that, but figured it was worth going to the Galactica panel at the Con to check out the details. So there I was, with a few friends, sitting in the front row at this panel (this was back when you could still get into the front row at a panel at Comic-Con without camping outside the night before). Some of the new cast came up on stage. Can't remember if Edward James Olmos showed that first year, but I know I was pretty excited about that. But one of the ones who did show was Katie Sackhoff, who would be playing the gender-bent Starbuck. If you know the show, you know what a tough-as-nails character she is, but in the first panel, she, this really adorable blonde, showed up in a very girly (and very nice) dress. I was pretty captivated. And as the panel got going, between listening to the news, I found my eyes kept going back to her, as her face was more than a little magnetic.

I happened to have my eyes on that face when her eyes wandered a bit - and connected with mine. Our gazes met. And suddenly, she gave me this smile. This dazzling, amazing smile. It was a smile coupled with this double-eye scrunch (kind of like a double wink) that was painfully cute. My heart stopped. And for once, not for medical reasons. It was one of the most wonderful smiles I'd ever gotten. It didn't last long, but just for that moment, in that room filled with a couple thousand people, I had this connection with her, with this beautiful woman that, soon, would become very famous in geek circles, and be the subject of endless web page photo galleries (and creative Photoshopping). I knew then that, for better or worse, I would DEFINITELY be watching that show. Turns out it was for the better, so thankfully I didn't have to spend the next several years sitting through some crappy show just to watch the girl who had given me that simple, unexpected gift. The gift of one smile.

Cut to Hollywood, September of 2005. Thanks to being a famous comic writer (ahem), I had gotten a connection that got me tickets to one of the greatest events of my life (kind of sad, when you say that out loud) - the Hollywood world premiere of "Serenity", Joss Whedon's motion picture continuation of the much-loved (and much-canceled) series "Firefly". I took my friend Tony, hands-down the biggest Firefly fan of all of us, with me. The premiere was getting ready to start, and we were going to be walking the red carpet into the theater, right along with the stars. As we couldn't take cameras in, Tony had run back to a locker we had gotten there at Universal and was putting ours in there before we went in. So I was sitting there waiting for him to return, watching all the goings on from my spot at the start of the carpet, seeing the crowds cheering the passing stars, watching the press get their shots and ask their questions. Maybe to check again for Tony, I suddenly turned to my left. And I found myself (being in a wheelchair and all) looking right at the back of a pair of jeans. Looking up, I quickly realized, with some shock, that I was sitting right next to Amy Acker. Every guy in my circle was totally in love with this actress, the one who played "Fred" on the Whedon show "Angel". This was one of the many surreal moments of the night. I was right next to Fred! And her jeans!

Right about this moment, Tony came walking up. As he did, he was approaching Amy. Amy turned her head and caught his eye. Tony (his face, thankfully, not matching the almost certain panic in his heart) just smiled and simply, and quietly, said "Hi". Amy smiled her wonderful, warm smile, the one that lights up her whole (perfect) face, and said "Hi" back to him.

That's a smile, and a "Hi", that Tony will take to his grave.

(I really hope Tony's wife doesn't read my blog).

Cut to one week ago (to be exact, one week and one hour ago, as of right this moment), back to San Diego, and to Comic-Con. My friend Russ and I were sitting in a filled-to-capacity room, sitting on the aisle, waiting for the official first crowd showing of the Joss Whedon masterpiece "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" to start (which you should have already seen if you've been reading my blog. If not, you need to accept the shame and go sign up for a Dale Carnegie course or something and get your life straightened out). Joss, the other writers and the cast had all shown up to watch it with us, and the crowd went wild as they entered from the front, and as Joss and Neil Patrick Harris (suit up!!) said a couple of quick words. Then came the hurry to get it started, and Joss and entourage came walking back toward us to go take their seats in the back of the room. The writers came first, and with them came Felicia Day, the actress who plays Penny in "Dr. Horrible" - a musical that both Russ and I had watched on the web several times before coming to the Con.

Did I mention Russ's weakness for redheads?

Russ was already crazy about her, and suddenly, there she was, walking our way. People were snapping some pics, and being no fool, Russ stood up with his camera to get a shot as well. A few flashes were going off here and there, getting shots of Felicia from this angle or that. But as Russ went to take his, Felicia turned, looked right into his camera, and smiled. See the photo above. Russ became the one of us with one of these stories who has actual evidence that he didn't make his tale up. Lots of people, again, taking shots. But that one particular smile? That was just for him.

When those moments happen with women that are part of the "real" world, there are some mixed feelings. Sure, you enjoyed the moment, but you might be left with lingering regrets. What if she was the one? Why didn't I say something? What if we were meant to be together, and I let her slip away? This is what makes the celebrity moments so pure. You KNOW for a fact nothing was going to happen. There's no "what if" in play. Therefore, no pressure. There's nothing left but a frozen moment of pure and unexpected bliss, and the knowledge that though countless thousands of men long to be in the same room with her, you were the one that was there with her, and, just for a moment, connected with her. Sure, it's a connection that she surely forgot about a quarter of a second later, but you? You get to see her on TV, in movies, in magazines, and know that for that one sliver of time, she had a smile with your name on it...even if she never knew your name. And you get to remember that every time she pops up on "E!" or accepts an award or shows up in a rerun. You get to remember that smile that was just for you.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that this essay sounded less sad in my head...