2007 - The Year in Review
Been quite an eventful year in the world. Wars, natural disasters, murders, politics, celebrities behaving badly, the environment, film, books, television, religion, births, deaths…
But enough of all that. Let’s talk about ME.
As this is my blog and all, it seemed like an appropriate place to take a look back on MY year that was. 2007. O’Connell-style.
I like to do this every year when January’s about to strike and Dick Clark’s about to do the drop. I take a glance in the rear-view and see how far I’ve come in the past year. It’s too easy to look at all the things you DIDN’T do, particularly when checking the N.Y.R. list from the previous January (maybe you don’t make one. I do) and when you’re getting as close to official middle age as I am (and you start feeling the panic of the ticking clock). I prefer to keep it positive and focus on what I DID do…and the good stuff that I experienced. Funny how that’s the hard thing for us to do, isn’t it?
I started off 2007 in a very dark place. And I think that was mostly work-related. My job was out of control, I was spending countless hours behind my desk, I had a bad situation with a manager that wasn’t working out (for any of us, which was unfortunate because he really was a very nice guy), and my home time had turned into dinner/check email/try to accomplish any project of mine in about 20 solid minutes of creative time/sleep. I had a really thick and charcoal cloud following me around. My life was nowhere I wanted it to be, seemed to be doing nowhere, and I had became a pretty serious whiner. I fought with depression a lot. Growing hatred of my life fueled a growing hatred of myself. 2007 wasn’t looking to be much better than 2006.
And then something changed. Me. I made a conscious decision to take control of my life, and my emotions, back (if that’s even the right word. Had I EVER really been in control?). It all started with a book that I picked up. “100 Ways to Motivate Yourself” by Steve Chandler. Just something I spotted on a shelf at Kinko’s while waiting for a color copier to open up. I picked it up, started thumbing through it, and it was in that moment that the choice was made. I bought it. I loved it. It really turned my life around. Not just that book (though it’s a great one), but the act of choosing to WANT to change. That led to other books, both by
I started getting hungry for knowledge, and grabbing for it. If you knew how few books I normally read in a year’s time, you’d be as stunned as I am now to look back at how many I’ve plowed through in the past twelve months. Not just books, but CDs. I started realizing how much time I was wasting during my daily commute and started listening to books on CD on the way to and from work. I even got on eBay and picked up the Tony Robbins “Personal Power II” CD set (seen the infomercial? Ever wondered? I had) and completed the 1-month course. This was a major accomplishment for me. Self-discipline has never been a strong trait of mine. I’ve never been big on follow-through. I’ve always got so many dozens of projects going at any given time that focusing on and completing one thing rarely happens. But I buckled down and did the whole month, never skipping a day, exercises and all. I was really proud of myself when it was all done, and loved what I’d learned. I was on fire for life. I buckled down at work, doing it with the right attitude for a change, and kicked my desk’s ASS. By summer I was almost completely in control of it. For ONCE. Okay, that all kind of went south in the last part of this year, but I’m working my way back. And it’s still not nearly as bad as it was. I came a long way.
I make a big resolution list at the beginning of each year. And most years I look at it at the end and find nearly nothing on it has been done. This year I had a really big and unrealistic one. There’s a lot I never got to, which is not surprising considering how many thing are on it, but I’m surprised that quite a few of them got done (including some that had been carried over from previous years’ lists). A lot of projects got finished, and I’d rather focus on those than the ones that didn’t. Some would seem like stupid little things for most people, but seeing them checked off gives me a great sense of accomplishment and evidence that my list actually CAN shrink.
I quit smoking. I was starting to wonder if that would ever happen, with as much stress as there was in my life (the reason that I’d started again in the first place). That was a major thing. Anyone who’s ever done it knows that it’s more than just kicking the addiction itself. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s getting over that schedule during the work day when you go out with the other addicts at work to take a break and shoot the breeze (and foul the breeze up). It’s getting over having those breaks in your evening that mark time for you, and that last smoke at night to end your day. But I pulled it off, finally, and couldn’t be happier about it (if for nothing else than to not have to deal with the scorn and preaching of others, that constant guilt trip from everyone you know. Which is extra fun when it comes from people who bum cigarettes off you…).
I took some cool trips. I took a trip to
I managed to get to
I survived a computer crash! This has always been my worst nightmare. My whole life is about my computer, from the writing to the web pages to the Nice Guy stuff to countless irreplaceable photos. And my PC was an aging (and loud) piece of junk that was living on borrowed time. Luckily I had started getting paranoid and bought myself an external drive and started backing my stuff up. When thing finally started going bad fast, I frantically tried to copy over all the final stuff, and I made it before it went dead for the last time. So I ordered up a snazzy new Dell system online and had it shipped in, and I now have an awesome system with a two-monitor set-up that so fits the way I work. I survived the nightmare with almost zero data loss. Whew!
I got my family back close to me again. I think it’s been about 15 years since I actually lived in the same state with my parents, but finally, their nomadic construction management lifestyle brought them within a couple of hours of me (a drive which is NOTHING to them, as they’re used to driving twelve or more hours like it’s a trip to the store). They’re in a house up in the woods in Lakeport, and I now get to see them semi-regularly instead of just once or twice a year. My mom (at her insistence) even shows up at my apartment, while I’m at work, once a week to do my laundry, which let me get rid of the handy but expensive laundry delivery thing I had going. The first real impact of that move came on Thanksgiving, when my sister and niece flew into state, and relatives from all over made the trip, and we all spent a few days at the folks’ house on the lake. Family’s important. You take it for granted, and then you realize how little you actually see each other. Looks like that’s not so much a big problem anymore.
Speaking of family, I had a fantastic experience before Thanksgiving, when my sister turned 40. Mom and I wanted to do something special, but neither of us were in a financial place to do something REALLY special. But we flew her in from
I had another great and memorable gathering at a class reunion. Okay, it wasn’t technically MY class reunion. My 20th was last year. But when I was a senior, I spent most of my time hanging out with (and partying with) the juniors. Had a lot of good friends in that class that I made a lot of memories with. So when their 20th came around, I just had to be a part of it. So I showed up at the on-campus part of their reunion in the morning (this is Alumni Weekend, an annual event at my old high school where people from all different years show up), then joined them for the dinner later that night, becoming their event’s photographer. Got to see a lot of people I hadn’t seen in twenty years, people who were so important to me back when we were all young (and dumb), and it was great seeing them all and finding out what had been going on in their lives. Really reconnected with some folks (that I’m already falling behind in keeping up with! Note to self! Write some emails!).
I did something during the Labor Day week that I’ve always wanted to do. I took a week-long vacation…and went NOWHERE. I locked myself in my apartment for a week. And I LOVED it. I relaxed some, I did some reading, I caught up on some TV, but more importantly, I jumped into some big projects that I never seem to have the time for. It was just the creative recharge I needed. If I can manage to not use up all my vacation time with trips this year, I’d love to try the same thing again.
I spent more time with people in my life. Not a LOT more, I guess, as my work schedule and my need to make use of my non-work time does still make me a bit of a hermit, but I stopped saying “no” as much, and managed to hook up with people for some nights on the town, for some parties, for some movies. At least a lot more than I did before. You can’t take your friends for granted, either. Fortunately, we’ve got email and MySpace and other ways to keep in touch this day and age, but sometimes you’ve got to go low-tech and just hang out. Not an easy thing to do, as everyone’s busy with their lives in this age group we’re all in. But the moments we’ve managed have been lots of fun.
I’ve managed to rediscover the joy of writing. I was losing it for a while. At one point this year, I realized that all my creative time was being filled with “have to” stuff instead of “want to”. I’d forgotten the simple pleasure of getting an idea and sitting down and actually just writing…normally I get the idea and immediately think of all the things I should be doing instead. I learned to put some things aside and allow myself to just write what I wanted. This blog has been one of the main results. Every time I sit down to add to it, there’s always something else I should be doing instead…but I’ve made it, and other creative “play time”, a priority, once I realized the necessity of it. I’m learning to manage the guilt pretty well.
Overall, I think I’ve really changed as a person this year…for the better. I’ve really taken notice of how months and years are just slipping on by (as they do at this age), and I’ve decided I want to make the most of that time, to enjoy it instead of mourn its passing. I’m much more positive than I was at this time last year (MUCH), and much more motivated to make things happen in my life. I’ve stopped believing (for the most part) that I “can’t”, something that I really let the world convince me of. I’ve rediscovered hope. I’m excited about life. And about the future. I’m definitely still a work in progress, but I’ve grown so much in the last year that it still amazes me to remember where I was. I believe that good, big things are coming. I’ve got all kinds of new projects going that I think are really going to go somewhere, and I’m taking steps in that direction. I’m continuing to learn and grow each day, and I’m now a believer that each new day is a chance to start over. I’m not in the back seat anymore. I’m behind the wheel. And it feels good.
I haven’t officially started my 2008 resolution list (planning to do that on New Year’s Day), and while I’m sure it will be, once again, an impossible one to tackle in one year (I plan big), I’m hoping for a whole lot more checkmarks next to my goals and dreams. And I plan to step into being forty (yikes!) this October without regret, and with a fire and determination to look ahead with a smile instead of looking back and second-guessing. I plan for 2008 to be the Year of the Mike. That’s like the Summer of George, but nine months longer…
Happy New Year, everyone. And may your ’08 be the year that changes everything for you. It can be, you know. All you have to do is decide. If you make no other resolutions this year, let that be your one. And watch what happens.
You! With the big flashing ball! Drop it! Drop it NOW!
posted by Michael O'Connell @ 6:48 PM
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